Speak Life With Me (Part 2): When It Gets Hard

The first days of choosing to speak life felt almost easy, like I had turned a corner into fresh air and sunlight. But as the days have gone by, I’ve learned that it’s not simple at all. It takes constant awareness and surrender.

Lately, I’ve noticed more often when my thoughts about someone, or even myself, slide into the negative. And when I catch it, I feel that quiet conviction in my spirit. Not shame, but conviction. Almost like God whispering, This isn’t who I’ve made you to be.

God’s Word tells us, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21). Speaking life doesn’t mean we close our eyes to reality. It doesn’t mean avoiding hard truths. Scripture calls us to “speak the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15). That means rebuke has its place, but even correction should aim to build, not tear down.

I’ve been tested in this.

• At home, when the bathroom renovation dragged into delay after delay, I was ready to let my frustration have the last word.

• At work, when people gossiped or downplayed my team’s contributions, I wanted to set the record straight with a bite in my tone.

And honestly, sometimes I failed. I let anger color my words. I focused on the wrong thing instead of pausing to choose differently. But here’s the hope: failure doesn’t disqualify us. God’s mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22–23). I’ve had to learn to forgive myself, dust off the guilt, and press on. It helps to have a community around me, friends, family, coworkers, who remind me of who I really am when I lose sight of it.

Funny enough, one of the days I struggled the most, God gave me a gift through a coworker. He told me about almost losing it in traffic after another driver cut him off. Tempers flared, gestures flew back and forth—you know how that goes. But then at the next stoplight, he noticed the other guy’s brake lights were broken and flickering. Suddenly the story changed. The driver probably hadn’t even realized he’d swerved over. My coworker said he went from furious to sheepish in seconds, realizing it wasn’t personal at all.

That stuck with me. How many times do I let assumptions fuel my frustration? How often do I forget there may be more going on in someone’s life than I can see?

This path is not easy. Some days I feel like I’m failing more than I’m succeeding. But every time I stop myself mid-sentence, every time I choose to redirect my thoughts, I know God is working in me. Conviction is proof the Spirit hasn’t given up on me.

So I’m pressing on. Even when it’s hard. Even when I stumble. Because the words we speak have power, and I want mine to build, not tear down.

If you’re walking this road too, take heart.